2023-10-04 16:10:00

The Moneyist: I spend $600 a month taking women out for dinner and drinks, only to be ghosted by the second or third...

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MarketWatch
By Quentin Fottrell

Dear Quentin,

I am a single man, 38 years of age, living in the Southwest, and I have reached my breaking point.

I spend my hard-earned money taking women out for dinner and drinks, only to be ghosted by her by the second or third date. Is taking a woman out for coffee on a first date acceptable? And can I just pay for my own? You dont get much change out of $10 at Starbucks SBUX, +3.17% these days, and Im tired of just throwing my cash around on other peoples social lives.

At this point in the game and it does feel like a game I feel like Im being taken advantage of by the women who agree to meet me on a date. If theyre not serious, then why do they agree to be taken out for dinner? A bottle of wine can cost upwards of $45. I am a gentleman. I hold the door for women, I stand up when a lady enters the room, and I pick up the check, but Im spending upwards of $600 a month on dates, and its eating into my other living expenses.

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When did men have to pay for everything? When did dating have to be so expensive? Is coffee acceptable? Can I buy my own?

Thirtysomething, Single and Aggravated

Dear TSA,

Yes, you can go for coffee, and yes you can buy your own. You dont have to pay for dinner every single time. Chivalry does not have to mean spending $600 a month on a merry-go-round of dating. Silicon Valley has commodified peoples romantic lives, and given the sheer number of singletons meeting, it no longer makes financial sense to always be the one to pay.

In this poll carried out by YouGov, more than one-third of respondents said they use dating apps so they have something to do. That is, they have incorporated dates into their social calendar, as an activity like going to the cinema or playing pickleball. More than one-quarter of those said they use apps to have casual sex: Men are more likely than women to say this 36% vs. 14%.

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